Archive for the ‘Prayer’ Category

So…

I only missed one week of March. Not too bad, I guess. Right now I’m kinda at a loss of what to post about. Maybe I’ll share another school assignment with ya’ll. But my last one didn’t get any comments… so probably no one liked it. Or even read it.

Before I ramble on too much, I want to quick post a link for you Rebelution forum members to check out.

Okay… I guess that’s it. I’ll just leave you with a picture I took for my little brother. hehe I love the things he asks me to take pictures of!

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Unworthy

I have really struggled with my walk with God for the last couple weeks. It takes a toll on a lot of things. My prayer life, my meditation, and -more obvious to my friends- my quizzing. I have felt SO unworthy, and SO messed up that when I come to pray, I kneel down, sigh, and get back up without saying anything because I just don’t feel right. Every. Single. Morning. this week. (And last week… I forget that this is only Monday) Am I discouraged? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I have been discouraged out of my mind! The worst part of it is that when I go to church, everyone looks like they’re doing fine! No struggles. I try and remind myself that I’m not alone, but when one feels alone it becomes hard to focus on the fact that you aren’t. So where am I heading with all of this? Well, I’m subscribed to the Desiring God Blog, and this is what I found in my inbox tonight:

(Author: John Piper)

A vague bad feeling that you are a crummy person is not the same as conviction for sin. Feeling rotten is not the same as repentance.

This morning I began to pray, and felt unworthy to be talking to the Creator of the universe. It was a vague sense of unworthiness. So I told him so. Now what?

Nothing changed until I began to get specific about my sins. Crummy feelings can be useful if they lead to conviction for sins. Vague feelings of being a bad person are not very helpful. The fog of unworthiness needs to take shape into clear dark pillars of disobedience. Then you can point to them and repent and ask for forgiveness and take aim to blow them up.

So I began to call to mind the commands I frequently break. These are the ones that came to mind.

  • Love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. Not 95%, 100%. (Matthew 22:37)
  • Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Be as eager for things to go well for him as you are for things to go well for you. (Matthew 22:39)
  • Do all things without grumbling. No grumbling—inside or outside. (Philippians 2:14)
  • Cast all your anxieties on him—so you are not being weighed down by it anymore. (1 Peter 5:7)
  • Only say things that give grace to others—especially those closest to you. (Ephesians 4:29)
  • Redeem the time. Don’t fritter or dawdle. (Ephesians 5:16)
  • Set your mind on things that are above. Connect all your thoughts to Christ. (Colossians 3:2)
  • Do not return evil for evil—like when your wife or daughter says something you don’t like. (1 Thessalonians 5:15)
  • Rejoice always, and again I say rejoice. Always. If sorrowful, keep rejoicing. (Philippians 4:4; 2 Corinthians 6:10)
  • Give thanks in all circumstances. All. All. All. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

So much for any pretensions to great holiness! I’m undone.

But now it is specific. I look it in the eye. I’m not whining about feeling crummy. I’m apologizing to Christ for not keeping all that he commanded. I’m broken and I’m angry at my sin. I want to kill it, not me. I’m not suicidal. I’m a sin hater and a sin murderer (“Put to death what is earthly in you” Colossians 3:5. “Put to death the deeds of the body” Romans 3:18.)

In this conflict, I hear the promise, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1John 1:9). Peace rises. Prayer feels possible and right and powerful again.

I don’t know if any of you will be as encouraged as I was, but I thought it was worth sharing! Keep pressing toward the mark and drawing nigh to God! 

 

Drawing water

   I am a plant. [Figuratively, of course, but let’s just stay with the illusion.] Not only am I a plant, but I’m a plant that has been planted in good soil. The soil of God’s word, if you want to be specific. But there’s something to add to all of this. I have my own will. That’s where I differ from regular plants. See, plants grow without thinking about it, putting effort into it, or worrying. I, however, have to consciously decide that I am going to put my roots into God’s word and draw the water that He offers. God’s water is fit to my daily needs, too! Some days I need the water of patience, other days I need love. No matter what my needs are for the week, day, hour, or even minute, God has it there in His word.
   Something that I find extremely interesting is the fact that roots remain unseen. No one will see the time that you and I spend in God’s word, but it will evidence itself when people see us as healthy plants.

   Psalm 1: 1-3 
     Blessed is the man who walketh not in the counsels of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful, But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law doth he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season: his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doesth shall prosper.

   Everyone knows that passage, but don’t skim over it. I found that when I read this the other day and PAID ATTENTION, it was SO rich! Go through it again!

Jeremiah 17: 7&8
  Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful [anxious] in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yeilding fruit.

   I never saw that passage before (that I can remember) and I found it to be such a blessing to me!

Isaiah 58:11
  And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat they bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.

   I hope that this has been a blessing to you. It’s what I’ve been learning. (Among other things.) If you like hearing my devotions, then I’ll bring more to the blog! Just tell me what your thoughts are! 

   All of these thoughts were inspired by my devotions as I’m going through A Young Woman After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George. This was from chapter two. I’ve really been enjoying this book and would highly recommend it. One thing to let ya’ll know is that she does not use the KJV, so I read my Bible alongside. It’s good to read another version, but I like the good ol’ KJV best.

 

    

Song

Sorry that I haven’t been around much. It’s a combination of business and heat. Right now I’m just going to post a song and call it quits. Hopefully I’ll be able to post about my life next week. Hope ya’ll have a great weekend!

 

 We sang this two weeks ago at church – it’s the first time that I ever sang it, I think. Or else I sang it and didn’t pay attention to the words.

Enlarge my vision, Lord, help me to see

A whole vast universe in need of Thee!

Increase my love, I pray; cause me to hear

The cry of dying souls afar and near.

 

So prone am I , dear Lord, to dwell within

My own secluded realm – forgive my sin!

Enlarge my vision, Lord! Teach me to care

With Thine own heart of love – this is my prayer!

 

 

20 Days of Prayer Challenge

Miss Jocelyn and Miss Kylie over at HSB have issued a challenge for folks to pray for a specific country for 20 days. Kinda cool, huh? My sister is taking part, so I’m not about to be left out of the fun! Starting today, I’ll be praying for Taiwan. My grandma was a missionary there for awhile (I don’t remember exactly how long), so that’s part of the reason I chose this country out of the many countries I could’ve picked. According to this website, 93% of the Taiwanese people are a combination of Taoism, Buddhism, and Confucianism – and a mere 4.5% are Christian. (Seeing that it’s a secular site, I’m sure that the word ‘Christian’ would include Catholics as well as Lutherans, Baptists, etc.)

I need to get going – I don’t want supper to burn! – but I thought that I’d quick share this and invite ya’ll to join in. Better late than never, right?

Emily